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  1. I'm really glad my mother got me vaccinated against whooping cough because breathing during protracted coughing is incredibly difficult.
  2. It is possible to complete a full abs workout in only 5 minutes of coughing
  3. Although it might not actually be possible to cough your eyes out it feels like it is
  4. Prolonged coughing when needing a wee is best done on or at least close to the toilet.
  5. Who knew that much spit could be generated in such a short space of time!
  6. Comments about 'showing off' and 'attention seeking behaviour' aren't funny when you're wondering if you'll ever be able to take a breath in again.
  7. Bright red is not an attractive facial colour
  8. As with no.4 coughing on a full stomach is best done near a waterproof receptacle.
  9. Lucozade only tastes good one way.

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